What to Expect When You’re Adopting
Adoption is a beautiful thing. What better gift can a person give than a happy, stable home to grow up in? It’s a selfless act and the ultimate display of love for another human being.
But like anything in life, adoption has its ups and downs. Children who were adopted are more likely to display behavioral problems than their non-adoptive peers, and without the proper preparation and training, there is little adoptive parents can do to change this.
The following are some lifelong difficulties commonly experienced by adopted children:
Fear of Loss
Even when given up as babies, adopted children sense something about them is different. Instinctually, they can detect their removal from their birth
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parents. As adults, it’s not uncommon for them to fear the loss of anything or anyone important to them.
Rejection by Birth Parents
Upon realizing they’re adopted, children often feel the sense of being unwanted by their birth parents.
Guilt That They Did Something Wrong
Adopted children tend to feel there is something terribly wrong with them; otherwise their birth parents would not have let them go.
Identity Crisis
Adopted children have little to no information about their birth family’s medical history, religion, genes, or other vital information. As a result, some adoptees seek acceptance from subcultures, run away, become pregnant, and ignore their adoptive families.
Intimacy Issues
If adopted at an older age, kids are hesitant to become attached to their new families. They also tend to be preoccupied with intimacy issues such as their conception, biology, genes, and sexuality.
Control Issues Causing Defiance
One of their biggest life decisions – who will raise them – was made without the adoptees’ input. As a result, behavioral problems such as defiance are common of adopted kids. This is all done in a desperate attempt to regain control of their lives.
Summary
While there are several issues associated with adoption, it is possible to overcome them. Perhaps you’re considering adoption, or maybe you’ve already opened your home to a child in need. Whatever the case, you must prepare yourself for both the good and bad.
Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Boarding School for at risk teen girls and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.
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