Talk to your daugther (and get a response too!)
It seems like only yesterday when she was your little girl. She needed you for everything from combing her hair to wiping her tears, and you loved every second of it. Nowadays, however, things are very different.
That sweet little girl has grown into an independent (and often distant) teen girl, an evolution you were not prepared for. Not only does she not need you, but she grows resentful at your presence. You can tell something’s bothering her, but she won’t open up to you. It seems her bedroom door has been locked for days.
Image by mikebaird
What’s going on?
The first thing you must realize is that every teenager goes through this, and in fact, you did too. Physical, mental, and emotional changes create an increased need for autonomy, a desire for privacy, and an eagerness to discover their own identity. Teenagers are at the intersection of adolescence and adulthood…and they need to cross the road without you.
What can you do?
Fortunately, every child will always need his or her parents. Even when you swear they can’t stand you, your teenagers love you. Even better is the fact that it is possible to talk to them; just follow these simple tips:
• Listen: If they want to talk, open up your ears!
• Respect privacy: So long as they’re not abusing privileges, respect your teen’s need to be alone.
• Trust your teen: You’ve raised them well, so trust that they’ve got a good head on their shoulders. Don’t assume the worst.
• Empathize: Try to put yourself in your teen’s shoes, and address any issues from there.
• Apologize: As parents, we hate to admit we’re wrong, but sometimes we are.
It’s hard realizing that our children are slowly becoming adults, but it’s a fact of life. Just realize that no matter how mature they become, they will always love and need you. Follow the advice in this article, and you’ll be better able to embrace the changes that lie ahead.
Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Boarding School for at risk teen girls and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.
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