Your Child Was Sexually Abused.

How to Cope as the Parent

It’s no secret that sexual abuse is the most damaging of crimes. While the victim is undoubtedly the most injured, the act also takes its toll on the victim’s loved ones. In the case of sexual abuse against children, these loved ones would be the parents.

So how do you cope upon learning that your child has been sexually abused? Is it possible to think straightly about the unimaginable? Where do you go from here, and most importantly, how do you get there?

Allow yourself to feel.

You might think it’s selfish to feel violated when your child was the one who suffered most, but it’s not selfish. Your child is an extension of you, and their pain is your pain. Accept whatever emotions arise within you, as they are an essential part of the healing process for both of you.

Don’t lose your cool.

While you should accept your feelings, don’t allow them to overpower you. Denial, anger, and depression are just some of the emotions you will encounter, but if allowed to grow, they can prevent you from taking the steps necessary to remedy the situation. For this reason, it’s paramount that both your child and you seek professional counseling.

Fake it if you have to.

You naturally want to cry and scream, but find the strength not to do so in front of your child. As the parent, your child looks to you for answers, safety and strength. Even if you don’t feel in control, fake it for your child’s sake. Remember that energies are very contagious.

Loosen the reins.

After learning your child has been violated, it’s natural to want to overprotect him or her. Work hard to not do this. Becoming overbearing and visibly frightened for your child’s safety will only make them feel insecure. Your goal as a parent before the abuse was to instill confidence and self-reliance within your child, and it must remain your goal afterwards as well.

Encourage dialog.

The knowledge of sexual abuse is like an elephant in the room, so don’t ignore it completely. While you want to find a “new normal,” the fact is that a travesty was committed against your child. If he or she wants to talk about it, listen.

As stated before, sexual abuse affects more people than the victim. It’s a family crime. But with composure, acceptance and patience, you can help both you and your child move on to a better future.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

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