You loved them from the start, and you put everything into them. You once thought you knew what happiness was, but then they were born, and you realized you knew nothing. They are your very own creation…your miracle. They are your life…

And someone has stolen their innocence.

No words can express what a parent goes through upon learning their child has been sexually abused. It’s the most heinous of crimes, and it makes you sick to the bone. Knowing what steps to take seems impossible, as you can hardly think clearly. But you must do something, and the following will get your started.

image by: cwwycoff1

Remove all guilt.

Just as your child did nothing wrong, you did nothing wrong. You are both victims, so know that, and eliminate all guilt from your conscience. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to remedy the situation.

Call the authorities.

Explain to your child that (although it will be difficult) he or she must recount the experience to the police. If there is a lack of evidence, don’t be deterred, and file charges anyways. If a future victim also files charges, the police can revisit your case. Telling your child’s story could prevent another child from suffering the same anguish.

Seek therapy.

And do so for both your child and you. If your child wants to talk to you about the abuse, listen, but seeking professional help can make all the difference as they grow into adulthood.

Protect your child from the abuser.

This might seem obvious, but each crime has unique circumstances. In instances where the perpetrator is a family member or neighbor, do whatever it takes to remove that person from your life. This means no phone calls, letters, and obviously, get-togethers. And just as your child should stay away from the perpetrator, so should you.

Discovering that your child has been sexually abused can flip your world upside-down, but it doesn’t have to destroy you. Be courageous, and take the steps necessary to help both you and your child. Root all of your actions in love, and the darkness surrounding your home will be removed.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

        

My husband and I just found out that our neighbor has been molesting our ten-year-old daughter for the past year. Not only am I outraged, but my trust has been destroyed. I never imagined that someone so close to our family could do such a thing, and I’m finding it hard to move forward. How could I have known, and is there anything I can do to make sure this never happens again?

Enraged – St. Paul, Minnesota

timkemp_1

Dear Enraged,

Discovering that your child has been violated in such a way is every parent’s nightmare. You may feel as though you’ve failed your daughter, but there was nothing you could’ve done.

The fact is that most sexual abuse is committed against someone the perpetrator knows, is close to. Of the sexual-abuse cases at Trinity Teen Solutions, 80 percent were conducted by older brothers, while 10 percent took place at the hands of distant family members such as uncles and cousins. In such instances, not only is the victim easily accessible, but a mutual trust is established between the two. This is especially true regarding child victims, as youth are more vulnerable and easily swayed by the adults in their lives.

“If you love me, you’ll keep our secret.”

“You don’t want to get me into trouble, do you?”

These are just some examples of pedophile guilt trips. In many cases, they work to keep the abuse hidden for months, maybe even years.

As I said before, you must not blame yourself. It is important, however, that you know how to spot a pedophile before more damage is done. Here are some surefire ways to do so.

Monitor the person’s behavior…and not just with your child. If you see an adult acting too intimately with any child, a red flag should go up. Inappropriate behavior can include anything from tickling to obsessively staring.

Childlike adults have a tendency to be sexual predators. Don’t point fingers at the “young at heart,” but if an adult spends more time with the kids than the grownups, something’s wrong.

Presents are a tell-tale sign that an adult may have inappropriate intentions for your child. If it’s not your child’s birthday, and if your permission was not asked for, that adult is up to something.

Encouraging your child to break your rules is another habit of pedophiles. Curfews, prohibited places, and other guidelines are set in place to keep the child safe, and anyone who convinces them otherwise has bad intentions in mind.

Too much interest in your child’s life is another sign of possible pedophilia. It’s one thing to ask how your child’s doing in school; it’s another thing to want to know if they need help studying.

At the end of the day, all you’ve got to go by is your gut. That, coupled with smarts and a love for your daughter, will be enough to ensure this never happens again.

All the best,

Angie

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

        

My ex-husband and I share joint custody of our teenage daughter, and she just revealed to me that (while spending the weekend at his house) his friend raped her. I can barely write the words, I’m so sick to my stomach. I immediately pressed charges and enrolled her in counseling, but I wonder what the long-term, psychological effects of this will be for her. Can you help?

Barbara – San Diego, California

Dear Barbara,

Please accept my sincerest sympathies for what you and your daughter are going through. I, too, am sick at the thought of it.

Counseling is essential, so it’s good that she’s receiving some. But you are correct in believing that there are long-term, psychological effects of sexual abuse, especially a crime as monstrous as rape. Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is a disorder suffered (in some degree or another) by victims, and it includes the following symptoms:

Re-experiencing the Trauma
Rape victims have intrusive thoughts about what happened to them, and they cannot control these thoughts.

Withdrawal
The people, places and things the victim once enjoyed are ignored.

Avoidance
Unlike withdrawal, avoidance behavior means victims refuse to acknowledge any thoughts, feelings or cues in their lives. Their emotions are turned off, so to speak.

Hostile Behavior
Rather than deal with life in a logical manner, victims tend to experience rage and anger at the slightest provocation.

RTS is a disorder that has a domino effect on the victim’s life. Included in the above symptoms are a range of psychological reactions to the trauma of rape. A distorted body image, an inability to maintain romantic relationships, and sleeping disorders are just some of the anxieties experienced by victims.

You’ve already taken the first step by enrolling your daughter in counseling. Many rape victims keep the crime hidden, and as a result, they don’t receive the professional help that is vital to their mental wellbeing. Your daughter stands a great chance at leading a happy, healthy life.

In the meanwhile, you might consider receiving counseling for your own sake. And don’t feel guilty, as you could do nothing to prevent what happened to your daughter. All you can do is love her and try to move on. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Best regards,
Angie

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

        

An estimated 90 percent of our girls have experienced some form of sexual abuse. While some entered the program because of such a history, as many as 95 percent don’t reveal their victimization until much later in the therapeutic process. Like peeling the many layers of an onion, we had to work through the psychological and emotional barriers which kept their abuse a secret. Once out in the open, an amazing spiritual transformation occurred.

Photo by: Madeleine

Upon learning their daughter was sexually abused, many of our parents feel responsible or guilty. They should not, as:

• More than 30 percent of victims never tell anyone.
• Close to 80 percent of victims deny the abuse and hesitate to disclose about it.
• Of the disclosures, 75 percent are done accidentally; while 20 percent recant out of fear.

Sexual abuse is a horrendous crime which plagues more children than society realizes. While thousands of charges are filed yearly, a vast majority go unreported. Current statistics show that:

• One in four girls is sexually abused before age 18.
• Almost 70 percent of reported cases occurred before age 17.
• One in five children is sexually solicited via the Internet.
• There are approximately 39 million sexual-abuse survivors in today’s United States.

The behavioral problems for which girls are enrolled at Trinity Teen Solutions are largely explained by their history of sexual abuse, as:

• Victims report more problems with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, and problems at school than non-victims.
• Sexually-abused girls are at a greater risk for eating disorders.
• Seventy to 80 percent of children who are sexually abused grow up to use drugs and alcohol.
• Young girls who are sexually abused are three times more likely to develop psychiatric disorders.
• Close to 50 percent of women in prisons admit to being sexually abused as children.

These numbers are startling, but they’re all the more reason to help our young people while we can. A full 96 percent of the girls who come to Trinity and complete their stay effectively overcome the struggles in their lives due to our family-style, residential treatment program. By addressing the dangers targeting our youth, we can work towards making a happier tomorrow for them.

Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

        

Photo by .robbie

Types of Problems

People seek the assistance of a mental health professional (MHP) for many different reasons. These are some of the most common:

1. You feel unhappy most of the time.
2. You worry all the time and are unable to find the solutions to your problems.
3. You feel extremely sad and helpless.
4. You feel nervous, anxious, and worried most of the time.
5. You have panic attacks.
6. You have a hard time concentrating.
7. Your emotional state is affecting your daily life: your sleep, eating habits, job, and relationships.
8. You are having a hard time functioning from day to day. Your emotional state is affecting your performance at work or school.
9. Your behavior is harmful to yourself or to others.
10. You are feeling impatient and angry with someone you are taking care of.
11.  You are having problems with your family members or in other important relationships.
12.  You or someone you care about has problems with substance abuse or other addictions.
13.  You are the victim of sexual abuse or domestic violence.
14.  You have an eating disorder.
15.  You are having trouble getting over the death of someone you loved.
16.  You or someone you love has a serious illness and you are having a hard time with it.
17.  You feel lonely and isolated.
18.  You are experiencing problems in a sexual relationship.
19.  Your family has a lot of conflict and tension.
20.  You are experiencing a divorce or marital separation.
21.  You are having a hard time coping with change.
22.  You often feel afraid, angry, or guilty.
23.  You have a hard time setting and reaching goals.
24.  Your child is having problems with behavior or school performance.
25.  Your family is stressed because someone is ill.
26.  You have a hard time talking with your partner, children, parents, family members, friends, or coworkers.
27.  You are having problems dealing with your own sexual orientation or the sexual orientation of someone you care about.
28.  You are planning to marry, and you have some concerns.
29.  You have gotten a divorce and your family needs help adjusting.
30.  You are part of a blended family and need help learning to live together.

Types of Mental Health Professionals

The most common MHPs in the United States are Psychologists, Marriage and Family Therapists, Social Workers, and Professional Counselors. Each state has its own licensing laws and standards that govern each type of professional. While all licensed MHPs can help most people with problems of living, each group has its own special training in specific areas that makes them more qualified for certain types of issues. In addition, each individual therapist has a unique set of experiences that makes him or her uniquely qualified to work with certain kinds of issues.

Psychologists generally have a Ph.D. or Psy.D. degree in psychology from an accredited school. They must complete a rigorous internship period and pass a state licensing exam. In addition to their undergraduate college degree, most psychologists spend five to seven years in education and training. They study scientific methods and the science of human behavior, building skills for working with people who have real life problems.

Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) generally have a master’s degree in psychology, counseling, or a related subject from an accredited school. In most states, they must complete a supervised internship period and pass a state licensing exam. Marriage and family therapists are trained to work with people, focusing on how they relate to others. While they often work with an individual client, the focus of treatment is the set of relationships that surround the client and how those relationships impact the client. MFTs are trained in psychotherapy and family systems. They are licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples, and family systems. They work in a variety of settings with individuals, couples, families, children and adolescents, providing support and a fresh viewpoint as people struggle with life’s challenges.

Social Workers have a BSW or MSW from an accredited school. They must have completed an MSW and a supervised internship before passing a state licensing exam. (Each state has its own licensing regulations.) The social work profession focuses on individual happiness and well-being in a social context. It is also concerned with the well-being of the society that surrounds the individual. Social workers are trained to pay attention to the environmental forces that may contribute to the individual’s life problems.

Licensed Counselors have a master’s degree in psychology or a related subject from an accredited school. In most states, they must complete a supervised internship period and pass a state licensing exam.

Referral to Other Health Professionals

When it is in the best interest of the patient or outside the scope of the MHP’s license, therapists collaborate with and refer to other health professionals, such as physicians or psychiatrists in the case of prescribing medication.

Confidentiality

Each group of MHPs has strict ethical guidelines governing privacy and confidentiality. Clients of licensed MHPs can expect that discussions will be kept confidential, except as otherwise required or permitted by law. Examples of times when confidentiality must be broken are when child abuse has occurred or where the client threatens violence against another person.
When you are looking for a mental health professional to help you address your issues, it is very important to ask about a therapist’s qualifications to treat your specific concerns.

Visit these web sites to learn more:

www.aamft.org (National Association of Marriage and Family Therapy)
www.apa.org (American Psychological Association)
www.naswdc.org (National Association of Social Work)
www.counseling.org (American Counseling Association)

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for at risk teen girls, young adult women, and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

        

Before diagnosing a teenager with depression, it’s important to recognize the physiological changes occurring within his or her body. The maturation process is marked by an influx of hormones, which contribute to the adolescent’s mood swings. Add onto this the stress of transitioning from childhood to adulthood, and it’s not uncommon for youths to display characteristics of depression.

But there are other factors that could contribute to teenage depression. The death of a loved one, breakups with girlfriends or boyfriends, or even failure at school can weigh heavily on the psyche. These circumstances, coupled with growing pains, can result in a depressed state of mind.

Photo by Emy Racoon

Sad vs. Depressed

Sadness is part of the human condition, just as happiness is. Some situations call for us to be sad, such as the loss of a love. It’s when we’re unable to break out of this sadness that help is needed, and this is how you decipher sadness from depression.

While it’s normal for teenagers to experience mood swings, it’s important to notice when sadness evolves into depression. Chronic depression can be identified by a persistent, melancholy state. Strained relationships with family and friends, substance abuse, and other negative behaviors also indicate a need for professional assistance. Other signs include:

• Excessive Sleeping
• Change in Eating Habits
• Criminal Behavior
• Obsession with Death
• Isolation

Do not take any of these signs lightly, or excuse them as “normal teenage behavior.” If your teen is consistently displaying one or several of these depression indicators, it’s time to get involved.

Treatments for Depression

Teenage depression is a sensitive matter. Adolescents are emotional, and respond to depression more angrily than adults. For this reason, it’s important that parents remain open-minded and patient.

Prior to seeking professional help, parents should:

• Listen to their child;
• Don’t criticize;
• Make sure their teen knows he or she can speak to them;
• Don’t pressure their teen to talk;
• Take notice of positive things their teenager does;
• Suggest to their teen to visit the family doctor.

Most importantly, parents should keep their eyes and ears open. If (after trying to help their teen) nothing seems to work, it’s time to take charge. Talk to your family doctor, and begin the depression screening process. You’re the parent, and you know what’s best.

—–

Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed boarding school for troubled teens. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

        

There’s a possibility of undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Read on to learn more about these conditions, and what you can do about them.

Photo by Thai Jasmine

What’s the difference?

You might be asking yourself, “What’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?”

In a nutshell, ADD is a term used to describe people with ADHD, but minus the hyperactivity and impulsiveness. ADHD is the official name used by the American Psychiatric Association. Individuals with this condition display hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and inattention.

Childhood vs. Adolescent ADHD (ADD)

ADHD (ADD) tends to present itself differently in children and teenagers. Young children with ADHD (ADD) often appear very hyperactive, a behavior that minimizes during adolescence. The same can be said for impulsiveness. In a nutshell, the symptoms of ADHD (ADD) are the same between children and teenagers, only not as severe during adolescence.

Girls with ADHD (ADD)

If your teenage daughter has ADHD (ADD), she might display extreme moodiness, especially during menstruation. Other symptoms include overreactions, disorganization, an inability to cope with stress, and mild rebelliousness.

What should parents do?

If you suspect your teen daughter struggles with ADHD (ADD), get help from your doctor. There is no cure, but with proper diagnosis and treatment, it can become manageable. Treatments vary based upon a patient’s needs, as well as family and medical histories, but medication is generally prescribed.

Summary

If you suspect your teen daughter struggles with ADHD (ADD), don’t wait to seek professional help. The sooner your daughter learns life coping skills, the better prepared she will be for adulthood. With proper care, life with ADHD (ADD) can be easy and enjoyable.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed boarding school for troubled teens. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.



        

On one hand, parents can look the other way, thereby evading an emotional outburst from their teen daughter. On the other hand, parents can lay down the law…and create a slew of other problems. Neither solution sounds appropriate, does it? Isn’t there any in between?

The answer is yes.

Imagey by Brian Hathcock

Be the parent, not the best friend.

First things first…recognize your role as the parent. Too many parents are busy trying to be their child’s best friend, and they’re doing so at the expense of discipline. The truth is that every child (regardless of age) craves rules and boundaries, and they look to their parents for it. The sooner you recognize your authority, the better you’ll be able to monitor your teen’s friendships.

Get to know your child’s friends.

Just as your teen craves boundaries, he or she also takes cues from you on the company they keep. If you don’t bother to learn the names of your teen’s friends, then the takeaway is that you don’t care who they hang out with. Meet your child’s friends and parents. Invite them over for dinner, or let them spend the night. On a similar note, if your teen’s friends refuse to meet you, consider that a red flag.

Don’t judge a book by its cover – but remember that the cover can tell you a lot about what’s inside.

Just because a kid has purple hair and a nose ring does not mean he’s bad. Looks can be deceiving, and for this reason, it’s important that you acquaint yourself with your teen’s friends. Use your gut (not your eyes) when evaluating their quality.

That said if your teen daughter suddenly starts hanging around with a crowd sporting tattoos, piercings and purple hair you should definitely get involved. Find out who the kids are; who are their parents? Are they involved in their children’s lives?

Keep in mind also that the risk of judgments based on appearance often swings the other way. The clean-cut boy from the rich family at the country club might be doing drugs and sexually active. In either case, you must be alert.

Open up to your kids.

Don’t be shy…tell your teen daughter a bit about your past. Mention the bad choices you made, as well as the lessons you learned. You don’t need to tell her every bad thing you ever did, but sometimes opening up about overcoming difficult situations will allow your teen to appreciate the fact that you really do understand what she’s going through. Not only will you strengthen your relationship, but she’ll also be more likely to share her life with you.

Summary

Remember that your teen looks to your for guidance, even if she acts otherwise. By remaining patient but authoritative, you will ensure that your teenager makes the right choices in friends and in life.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed boarding school for troubled teens. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

        

As I’m writing this, my husband of twenty years and I are in the process of divorcing. We’ve tried everything, including couples counseling, but it seems we’re no longer able to live together.

We have a fifteen-year-old daughter, and she’s not handling the divorce very well. Ever since we broke the news to her, she’s become distant. I fear she may soon grow depressed. Is there anything we can do to help her through this transition?

Desperate – Atlanta, GA

Photo by I Don't Know, Maybe.

Dear Desperate,

You’re right to be concerned. The teenage years are a roller-coaster ride of emotions without divorce, much less with it. But with some patience and preparation, you can make this transition easier for your daughter.

First things first…remain available to your teen. It’s not uncommon for divorcing parents to juggle their daily lives with the split, forgetting about their child. For this reason, it’s crucial that you carve out time for your teen each day. Use this time to listen and answer any questions she might have.

Second, work with your ex-spouse to keep life consistent for your teen daughter. In other words, maintain the same rules and boundaries for both his house and yours. Life is challenging enough for a teen being juggled between parents, so try to create some stability.

Third, do not force your daughter to choose between you and your ex. This sounds obvious, but you’d be amazed at how many parents are immature in this regard. Remember that you are a parent, first and foremost. Under no circumstances should you turn your child into a spy or messenger for your ex.

Finally, lead by example. Whether or not they admit it, children model what they see in their parents. That being said, if you demonstrate resilience in the face of your divorce, your teen daughter will be better able to do the same. If you need counseling to help you in this, then get some.

With a few deep breaths, some love and some patience, you can make this transition easier for your teen and your entire family.

—–

Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed boarding school for troubled teens and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

        

Phone: 307.645.3384

Email: admissions@trinityteensolutions.com

Website:  http://www.TrinityTeenSolutions.com

Powell, Wyoming, March 30, 2010 – Typically, the focus for at-risk individuals tends to fall on children, teens and adults who require help with addictions and other issues. Young adults, however, have been largely left out of the equation.  Now, Wyoming-based Trinity Teen Solutions has expanded their Christian agendas to include life skills programs that help young women successfully transition to adult living.

Because progressing from a teenager to a productive young woman can oftentimes seem overwhelming, many find themselves in positions they never imagined.  Straying away from their faith due to peer pressure or other influences only widens the chasm, making it all the harder to achieve what society demands.  The professionals at Trinity Teen Solutions recognized this dilemma and chose to create a specific program exclusively for young adult women.

Trinity co-founder Angie Woodward explains: “We would get calls from parents nationwide asking if we knew of a Christian, therapeutic treatment option that could help their daughters. The majority of the programs available are secular, co-ed, institutional-style treatment settings or secular wilderness programs. Since there is such a need for a Christian, young adult program, we expanded our services to include women ages 18–25. With a balanced program consisting of life skills, social skills, vocational skills, high school and/or college curriculum, spiritual formation, and individual, group and family counseling, we’re able to offer young women the help they so desperately need, all while living in a loving Christian environment.”

Since 2002, Trinity has boasted a 96% success rate with their teen residents. Considering the new program is based on the same methods and curriculums as the teen programs, Trinity is expectant that the outcomes with young adult women will be equally as impressive.

Because the young adult program caters to women 18–25, their consent is required for admittance.  Trinity offers expert advice on how to discuss treatment with potential residents.

Financial aid options are available through a variety of sources.  Information can be found on the Trinity website.

For additional information about Trinity Teen Solutions and their young adult program for women please phone Angie Woodward at 307.645.3384, Monday through Friday, 9am–5pm Mountain Time.

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