My ex-husband and I share joint custody of our teenage daughter, and she just revealed to me that (while spending the weekend at his house) his friend raped her. I can barely write the words, I’m so sick to my stomach. I immediately pressed charges and enrolled her in counseling, but I wonder what the long-term, psychological effects of this will be for her. Can you help?

Barbara – San Diego, California

Dear Barbara,

Please accept my sincerest sympathies for what you and your daughter are going through. I, too, am sick at the thought of it.

Counseling is essential, so it’s good that she’s receiving some. But you are correct in believing that there are long-term, psychological effects of sexual abuse, especially a crime as monstrous as rape. Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is a disorder suffered (in some degree or another) by victims, and it includes the following symptoms:

Re-experiencing the Trauma
Rape victims have intrusive thoughts about what happened to them, and they cannot control these thoughts.

Withdrawal
The people, places and things the victim once enjoyed are ignored.

Avoidance
Unlike withdrawal, avoidance behavior means victims refuse to acknowledge any thoughts, feelings or cues in their lives. Their emotions are turned off, so to speak.

Hostile Behavior
Rather than deal with life in a logical manner, victims tend to experience rage and anger at the slightest provocation.

RTS is a disorder that has a domino effect on the victim’s life. Included in the above symptoms are a range of psychological reactions to the trauma of rape. A distorted body image, an inability to maintain romantic relationships, and sleeping disorders are just some of the anxieties experienced by victims.

You’ve already taken the first step by enrolling your daughter in counseling. Many rape victims keep the crime hidden, and as a result, they don’t receive the professional help that is vital to their mental wellbeing. Your daughter stands a great chance at leading a happy, healthy life.

In the meanwhile, you might consider receiving counseling for your own sake. And don’t feel guilty, as you could do nothing to prevent what happened to your daughter. All you can do is love her and try to move on. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Best regards,
Angie

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

        

I can barely see straight enough to write this, I’m so angry and sad. I just left my husband after learning that he’s been abusing my teenage daughter, both physically and sexually. He’s not her biological father, and we’ve only been married for two years, but I feel so violated for her violation. I could just scream! Please tell me what to do.

Suzanne – Atlanta, Georgia

Dear Suzanne,

In 1973, a psychiatrist named P.D. Scott noticed a correlation between battered children and step parents, later dubbed the “Cinderella Effect.” His research found that 52 percent of the study group was abused by their step fathers. While most of the crimes consisted of battering, the study also showed a significant occurrence of sexual and psychological abuse.

Studies have shown that stepchildren in Canada, Great Britain, and the United States incur a greater risk of child maltreatment, especially lethal beatings. Here are some other facts about the Cinderella Effect:

• When abusive parents have both step- and genetic children, the step children are usually targeted, while the biological children are spared.

• Upon discovering that one child has been abused, it is not uncommon to discover that all children in the household are also abused.

• Abused step children tend to be the eldest children in the home, but in families with uniform parentage, the youngest child is usually the victim of abuse.

Regarding what you should do, you’ve already taken the first step. Listening to and believing your daughter was essential, as was leaving your husband. All too often, mothers side with their spouse’s, and they do so at their child’s well being.

If you haven’t already done so, report your ex to your local law-enforcement agency. Do so immediately, as there is a statute of limitations which places a time limit on pursuing legal remedies for wrongful conduct. Statutes of limitations vary by state and crime, so consult your lawyer to learn more.

I would highly recommend that both you and your daughter seek professional counseling. There are many non-profit organizations that deal with situations such as yours, and they do so at no cost to you. The counseling is temporary, but the effects will help you both in the long run.

My best to you,
Angie

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for at risk teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation

        

Of the total number of child abuse cases, over eight percent were classified as sexual abuse. Who could commit such a crime? What is the long-term impact upon children who were victims of sexual abuse?

Image by catnapping

Let’s find out.

Who are the perpetrators?

In almost every case of child abuse, the perpetrator is someone close to the victim. It’s not uncommon for parents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, or close family friends to commit the offense, making it even harder for the child to confess against them. Perpetrators tend to have a great deal of private, personal access to their victims, making the maltreatment even more possible.

The Psychological Impact

Perpetrators of sexual abuse take away much more than a child’s dignity; they also take away any hope of a happy life and meaningful relationships.

It’s not uncommon for children to develop fear, anxiety, depression, anger, and hostility immediately following the offense. In many cases, children will even display inappropriate sexual behavior and poor self-esteem. As they grow older, victims are much more likely to partake in substance abuse, become sexually promiscuous, and lack drive or determination. They often find it difficult to connect on an intimate level.

Signs to Look For

We all want the best for our kids, but the reality is that it’s a sick world out there. By keeping your eyes and ears open, you can detect if your child is being abused. Consider the following questions:

Does your child have difficulty sitting down or walking?

• Does your child no longer participate in games or other activities?
• Does your child have frequent nightmares or wet the bed?
• Have you noticed a drastic change in your child’s appetite?
• Does your child know more about sex than he or she should at their age?
• Does your child behave sexually?
• Has your child confessed about sexual abuse by another adult?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart with your child before they turn into an at-risk teen.

        

If you’re like most parents, you’re desperate to get into your teenage daughter’s head. But rather than talk to you, she coops herself up in her bedroom. Her silence is deafening.

Even louder is the voice inside of you that’s screaming for answers. Her behavior is much more than mere teenage angst…she’s troubled, and you want to know why. If only you could get her to open up.

If you’re like many parents, the fear of sexual abuse against your child is constantly on your mind, and for good reason. Predators have always existed, and technological advancements such as the Internet make their jobs much easier. If you suspect your teen daughter has been victimized, look for the following symptoms.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder developed after a terrifying, life-altering experience. Cases of PTSD are commonly seen in military combat, accident victims, or any other situation where physical safety was threatened. Sexual abuse certainly qualifies.

Teens with Symptoms of PTSD include social withdrawal, sleep problems, and jumpiness. If you notice significant changes or new, unusual habits in your child, don’t ignore them. If left untreated, PTSD can progress into adulthood.

Sexually Reactive Behavior

About one-third of children who are sexually abused display sexual behavior. Immediately following the abuse, the child will act more promiscuous than other children their age, regardless of how young they are. Other immediate symptoms of sexual assault in children include behavioral problems, low self-esteem, and disruptiveness.

Long-Term Effects

If left undiscovered, sexual abuse can lead to health problems such as heart disease. Psychological symptoms of sexual abuse are never ending, and include depression, anxiety, PTSD, sexual dysfunction, and substance abuse. In some cases, attempts at suicide are made, many of which serve as a cry for help.

Summary

Sexual abuse steals a person’s ability to be happy and thrive, and it must not be tolerated. If you detect any of these sexual abuse symptoms in your teen daughter, get them to talk at all costs. Be a parent first, and a friend second. They’ll appreciate your concern.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Girl’s Boarding School for troubled teens and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.