I’m writing because I’m concerned that my teenage daughter is under the influence. Of what, I have no idea. All I know is that she’s become extremely distant. I’ve seen the friends she spends time with, and I must say that I don’t approve of them. She’s also lost a substantial amount of weight, and in no time at all (it seems).

What are the signs that my daughter may be using drugs? As the parent, what should I do?

Claire – Boston, MA

Photo by Made Underground

Dear Claire,

Judging from your short letter, I can say that I think your hunch is correct. Mood swings and physical changes are telltale signs that a teenager is experimenting with drugs and/or alcohol. Add into the mix a new group of (bad) friends, and the outlook is not good.

Other signs of teen drug use include:

• Extreme Mood Swings: While it’s normal for teenagers to be emotional, there is such a thing as extremes. Is your teen happy one minute, and depressed the next? Does he or she get abnormally angry over little things? If so, narcotics may be at play.
• Low Grades: Have your child’s grades gone from normal to failing? Has your teen received detention or suspension? Have they cut class? If you notice that your child’s scholastic behavior changes dramatically, it’s time to be concerned.
• Changes in Appearance: Different friends usually mean a different appearance. New clothes, hairstyles, and other cosmetic changes occur, seemingly overnight. In some instances, hygiene is sacrificed. Choices in music can also indicate whether your teen is being influenced positively or negatively.
• The Little Things: Does your teen daughter smell like cigarettes or alcohol? Do she constantly have breath mints on her person? Have you noticed any alcohol missing from your cabinet? By knowing your environment, you can also know if it’s changing.

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that these signs are definite proof your teenage daughter is using alcohol or drugs. But if you notice significant changes in her behavior and lifestyle, it’s time to take action.

First things first, talk to your spouse. Agree beforehand how you both will handle the situation. This will prevent your child from “going to Dad” when Mom says no.

Second, know why you’re talking to your teen. Gather any evidence you have (such as physical changes, new friends, etc.) and bring them to the table. This will warrant your discussion, giving it a foundation to stand on.

Third, don’t expect the conversation to go smoothly. Your teen will likely be defensive and angry, which is normal. The important thing is that you remain calm, and approach the conversation from a standpoint of love.

Fourth, have rules in place, as well as consequences for not following them. Make sure these consequences are doable for you and your spouse.

Finally, let your teen daughter know she can turn to you, and refrain from harshness. By coming down with an iron fist, you’ll likely push your teen further into illicit behavior. Approach the subject from a standpoint of understanding, not skepticism. If your daughter feels that she can trust and talk to you, she probably will.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

        

People who suffer from addictive diseases engage in compulsive behavior and gradually lose control of their lives. They continue to drink or use drugs, even when they know it will lead to negative consequences. They tend to have low self-esteem and almost inevitably suffer from anxiety and depression.

Photo Credit Alan Cleaver

If someone in your life suffers from addictive disease, you have experienced his or her extreme behavior, ranging from depression to exhilaration. You probably have also experienced the person’s state of denial (“I can quit anytime” or “I don’t have a problem”), dishonesty, frequent disappointments, and the series of ruined relationships. These are the hallmark behaviors when a person suffers from addiction to alcohol or drugs.

Who Is Affected by Addictive Disease

Alcoholism and drug addiction affect people from all parts of society. Addictive disease affects rock stars, writers, artists, and homeless people. Victims also include stay-at-home moms, teenagers, and corporate executives. There are addicts who are students at top universities and physicians in your local hospital. They may be teachers at your neighborhood school or salespeople at the local hardware store.

Studies have shown that there is a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. About half of all alcoholics had an alcoholic parent. Men seem to be more vulnerable than women to the alcoholic traits of their parents. Women may be more affected by factors in the environment (such as financial and life circumstances) than by inherited factors.

The Physical Side of Addiction

Chronic alcohol abuse produces long-lasting damage in many areas of brain function. It damages the capacity for abstract thinking, problem solving, memory, and physical dexterity. It also impairs verbal, visual, and spatial ability. The extent of damage to brain tissue depends on the extent of heavy alcohol abuse. When the drinking stops, a certain amount of healing is possible.

Prescription Drug Addiction

Prescription and illegal drugs with psychoactive side effects target the brain and can change a person’s mood. This causes these drugs to be potentially addicting. Some people think that if a doctor has prescribed a drug, it is not addictive. This is not true.

It is important to tell your doctor if you:

•           Are an alcoholic (using or in recovery)

•           Have ever been addicted to any drug

•           Have taken more than the prescribed dose of a prescribed drug

•           Have taken a prescribed drug for a long time

•           Take a prescribed drug with alcohol

Addictive disease is often progressive and can be fatal. Thankfully, with proper treatment, recovery is possible.

Treatment for Addiction

The first phase of treatment of addictive disease focuses on the physical effects of alcohol or drug use. This phase can include detoxification or treating life-threatening disorders such as liver failure.

Since addictive disease is primarily a brain disease that results in behavioral symptoms, the main treatment is psychosocial therapy. Treatment usually focuses on the irrational feelings and distorted thinking that accompany chronic alcohol or drug abuse.

Alcoholism and drug addiction are chronic diseases that require a lifetime recovery plan. Most successful treatment plans include a focus on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and involve ongoing, long-term participation in self-help groups. Patients who have been hospitalized for treatment may continue group and individual psychotherapy after they leave the hospital, in addition to attending 12-Step meetings.

Treatment of the Family Affected by Drug or Alcohol Addiction

Addiction affects every member of the patient’s family. As the disease progresses and the patient continues to drink or use, it causes a range of emotional, spiritual, and financial problems for almost everyone involved, including family, friends and coworkers. When the family is ready to begin the recovery process, Al-Anon and Alateen are excellent resources. A qualified family therapist who understands the process of addiction and recovery may also be consulted to work with the family.

What to Do When an Alcoholic or Drug Addict Won’t Stop

Sometimes the alcoholic or addict is in such a strong state of denial that the best alternative is to arrange an intervention. This process involves arranging for a professional interventionist to organize a meeting of the family, friends, and employer of the patient. The interventionist helps the group prepare a confrontation that will be followed by the patient entering a treatment center. The patient’s family and friends usually write a brief statement describing how the drinking or drug use has affected them. The interventionist and the group then meet with the patient and read their statements to the patient with the guidance of the interventionist. These interventions, when managed by professionals from respected treatment organizations, often result in successful treatment of the addiction.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.