Teen Drug and Alcohol Use

Dear Angie,

I’m writing because I’m concerned that my teenage daughter is under the influence. Of what, I have no idea. All I know is that she’s become extremely distant. I’ve seen the friends she spends time with, and I must say that I don’t approve of them. She’s also lost a substantial amount of weight, and in no time at all (it seems).

What are the signs that my daughter may be using drugs? As the parent, what should I do?

Claire – Boston, MA

Dear Claire,

Judging from your short letter, I can say that I think your hunch is correct. Mood swings and physical changes are telltale signs that a teenager is experimenting with drugs and/or alcohol. Add into the mix a new group of (bad) friends, and the outlook is not good.

Other signs of teen drug use include:

• Extreme Mood Swings: While it’s normal for teenagers to be emotional, there is such a thing as extremes. Is your teen happy one minute, and depressed the next? Does he or she get abnormally angry over little things? If so, narcotics may be at play.
• Low Grades: Have your child’s grades gone from normal to failing? Has your teen received detention or suspension? Have they cut class? If you notice that your child’s scholastic behavior changes dramatically, it’s time to be concerned.
• Changes in Appearance: Different friends usually mean a different appearance. New clothes, hairstyles, and other cosmetic changes occur, seemingly overnight. In some instances, hygiene is sacrificed. Choices in music can also indicate whether your teen is being influenced positively or negatively.
• The Little Things: Does your teen daughter smell like cigarettes or alcohol? Do she constantly have breath mints on her person? Have you noticed any alcohol missing from your cabinet? By knowing your environment, you can also know if it’s changing.

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that these signs are definite proof your teenage daughter is using alcohol or drugs. But if you notice significant changes in her behavior and lifestyle, it’s time to take action.

First things first, talk to your spouse. Agree beforehand how you both will handle the situation. This will prevent your child from “going to Dad” when Mom says no.

Second, know why you’re talking to your teen. Gather any evidence you have (such as physical changes, new friends, etc.) and bring them to the table. This will warrant your discussion, giving it a foundation to stand on.

Third, don’t expect the conversation to go smoothly. Your teen will likely be defensive and angry, which is normal. The important thing is that you remain calm, and approach the conversation from a standpoint of love.

Fourth, have rules in place, as well as consequences for not following them. Make sure these consequences are doable for you and your spouse.

Finally, let your teen daughter know she can turn to you, and refrain from harshness. By coming down with an iron fist, you’ll likely push your teen further into illicit behavior. Approach the subject from a standpoint of understanding, not skepticism. If your daughter feels that she can trust and talk to you, she probably will.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

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